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One year olds and discipline

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  1. #1
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    One year olds and discipline

    Okay, I know a lot of xchangers have kids so maybe you can share your ideas...

    How did you discipline your one year old/toddler? I am not a big fan of even the word discipline. I do know I have to set boundaries of what is and isnt acceptable. But man, it is tuff at this age. You can't reason with them yet. I do explain things anyway, just to give me practice. She doesn't throw tantrums but she has a scream on her. I pretty much just ignore it and she stops within seconds of realizing she isn't getting whatever it is she wants. Shes a super good baby and very mellow so I'm lucky. But it's still a touchy area for me. My mom was such a black and white disciplinarian and I don't want to do that. I also don't want to go overbaord the other way.
    ...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things."

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  2. #2
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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    I think you are right on track so far. One year olds still live very much in the moment, they want what they want right now. They will, however, show an amazing capacity for remembering your habits, such as if you pick them up everytime they cry. Like you , I felt that if they were dry, fed, not sick or hurt, I would let them cry it out. I even went so far as to stand just outside their door (unseen) until they stopped crying to try to reinforce that crying does not bring daddy.

    Just wait til 2, then the real fum begins!

    And discipline is not a bad word, punishment is. Discipline (both positive and negative) is teaching, punishment is retribution.
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  3. #3
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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    Thanks Nolan. Thats so true about discipline vs punishment.

    Livi has a 3 yr old half brother. I know a little about the two to three year old stage. I have to say with him... 3 is harder. I am learning so much from him.

    I'll remember that about picking up on my habits. Hopefully she doesn't start posting on the xchange too soon.
    ...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things."

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  4. #4
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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    It's kinda hard to discipline at that age. Even rewarding a child for good behaviour doesn't really work at that age. It's not like you can put a 1 year old in timeout & they'll understand! lol Just be patient, and use the word "NO" in a stern voice without raising your voice too much. The only times I really had to "discipline" my kids when they were that age was when we would go out in public & they would act out or start screaming and what not. I would just tell them no, and take them somewhere else until they calmed down. When they were being too loud, I would place my finger over my lips (saying shhhh) and eventually they caught on and would do it with me. Babies love to mimic their parents. I'm telling you, you will be AMAZED at what a little patience can do.

  5. #5
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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    Even though I don't have my own children, I have been raising my niece and nephew since they were 2 and 3 years old. There is no right or wrong way. You have to do what you feel is best.

    IMO, being consistent is most important. Let her have her fits. So long as she is unable to hurt herself. She will learn that her acting out will not get your attention. Amazing how smart kids are are such a young age.

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  6. #6
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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    Yes consistency is the key no matter what method you use. As soon as you start to compromise then you get problems. The child needs to see that if they continue with the same behavior they will get the same result. Then they begin to learn what is acceptable and what's not.

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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    Duct tape fixes EVERYTHING, Lisa!
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  8. #8
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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    Im going with the duct tape method!

    I guess my only concerns right now are is it okay to let her do things now that are not okay at say 2yrs old? Like I let her stand on the couch and bounce. haha In a year thats gonna be a nono but right now it absolutely adorable. So am I creating a monster by changing the name of the game later? Or is it okay now and as she is more verbal we tackle that and she'll understand its no longer acceptable because she is big.
    I suppose I over think things.
    She is such a happy baby and I have yet to deal with a crying fit or anything of that nature. the only times she crys are when she gets hurt. I really try hard to respect her schedule and needs. Dang, she is one happy baby!
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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    What a blessing to have a happy baby.

    I don't see that it would make too much difference in the overall scheme of things to wait till the age of 2 for certain things. At least then they can understand a little more what things are a no-no.

  10. #10
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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    Thanks Recker, yeah one just seems so young to understand certain things. I think it's fun for me to see her do stuff right now that I know Ill have to say no to later. I want to enjoy this year to the fullest!!!
    ...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things."

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  11. #11
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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    I can say from seeing one of my nieces raised by one mom and another neice by her own, that there is a HUGE difference between the one who has a mom who has a mom who consistently enforces rules, says what she means and backs it up and the other one who treats her child like a girlfriend and allows her to do what she wants, and to do bad things to get the attention that she wants.

    I don't think that parents have to be super strict and mean at all, but they do have to remember that no means no, manners are ALWAYS important, that we treat others like we want to be treated, that kids need to learn respect for animals, etc. Reinforcing and MEANING those reinforcements makes a HUGE difference in how a kid acts and how a kid feels. A confused child who never gets a consistent, steady message will act badly because they just don't know how they fit in and what is expected of them.

    I have a niece for whom I believe that jail time is inevitable in her future unless things smarten up, and the other for whom I believe that college and success is on her path, and it breaks my heart to see it that way because I love them both so much.

    Just be the example of what you want for her. I know that you are
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    SIT DOWN, BUCKLE IN, HANG ON, SHUT UP
    I will find my inner child and kick his little ass
    Don't piss me off. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies
    |PLAY >|STOP| <<RWD|FFWD>>|RCD|II|STFU!!!|
    You are starting to make sense. Time to up my medications!
    Spay or neuter your animals if you truly love them

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  12. #12
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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    Thank you Brandy! That is excellent advice.
    ...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things."

    Have you hugged your penguin today?

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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    Lisa, Livi is a beautiful child !!!!! You say she is a happy child, so you must be doing something right It's not easy to raise children, especially if you're a new parent. Let's face it, children do NOT come with an instruction manual Just remember to try to stick to your guns, if you say no, then it's no. If you give in constantly, then you're setting a bad example. Kids as young as 1 will pick this up, believe me

    Children learn by our example, as many here have said. If they hear you say it, they will.... if they see you do something, then they will do it too. They want to be just like us Enjoy this year.... they grow way too fast !!!! I can't believe my daughter will be 18 in a couple of weeks
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  14. #14
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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    Thank you! I am learning she is a sponge already. She eats what I eat, copies everything I do and mimicks me. Boy oh boy! I am soo glad I waited until I got my life together to have a baby.
    ...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things."

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  15. #15
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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    Stick to your guns! Remember consistancy and patience then the rest will fall into place.

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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    Hello kevin,

    Nice to see you,you have been mi$$ed

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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    Regardless of age, Iím a firm believer that if you reason with a child, you teach that child to reason. If you hit a child, you teach that child to hit. Youíre basically telling that child that this is how we work out our problems, by hitting. I think youíre doiní just fine, Lisa. Mikey is almost 12 now and very well behaved. I believe that his manners and sense of right and wrong today are due in part to the way I approached his disciple from day one. I never treated him like a baby, even when he was one. Thatís important, IMHO.

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  18. #18
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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    Quote Originally Posted by Tempest Frost View Post
    Regardless of age, Iím a firm believer that if you reason with a child, you teach that child to reason. If you hit a child, you teach that child to hit. Youíre basically telling that child that this is how we work out our problems, by hitting. I think youíre doiní just fine, Lisa. Mikey is almost 12 now and very well behaved. I believe that his manners and sense of right and wrong today are due in part to the way I approached his disciple from day one. I never treated him like a baby, even when he was one. Thatís important, IMHO.
    Good luck, Lisa. ImSoooSure you'll do just fine.
    Thank you! Shes funny now. She'll do something she knows is wrong but tell me. Thank goodness! I was packing some ebay stuff the other day and she was by my desk. She kept saying dat, dat, dat... then I look up and she's looking at me with this naughty smile. So, I look at "dat" and she's holding a pencil I always tell her she cant have.
    Then she did the same thing going into our mud room. She was opening the door while looking over her shoulder smiling and waiting for me to stop her. Boy, I wish it would always be this cute when she's naughty!
    ...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things."

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  19. #19
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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    I know what this thread reads but because my morning coffee has not kicked in, I read this thread as "One year olds and disciples "

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  20. #20
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    Re: One year olds and discipline

    I have misread titles before also,not to worry my friend!

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